How Boudoir Helped Me Feel Empowered and IN LOVE with my Body

Hi! My name is Victoria. I’m a photographer and I am riddled with self doubt. Despite how I may appear on the outside (“She’s so together! She’s so fun and confident!”) sometimes on the inside I really can’t stand myself. Ugly, fat, annoying, self absorbed.

We’ve all been there, right?

Despite how great everything in our lives are going, we focus on one small thing that we can’t stand in that moment: my hair, my hips, my too big of boobs, my skin. Whatever it may be. It seems, at times, a never ending cycle of negative self talk.

This is something I struggle with on a weekly basis. My body hate is not as severe as it was when I was younger, but it still creeps its ugly head in every so often and stays much longer than it should. It’s such an uncomfortable guest.

You’ll never find me talking about other people’s bodies, if anything, I’m the biggest hype woman out there. “Damn girl! You’re on fire! Rock it!” And yet, despite how I talk to others, filled with confidence and encouragement, saying that to myself feels, at times, almost impossible.

As a boudoir photographer I am blessed with the ability to make women feel beautiful, sexy and confident.

I am inspired when my models want to take their pictures out in the natural world, surrounded by the beauty of mother nature, a physical reminder of our divine feminine. Boudoir photography in the forest is my favorite thing to shoot ever and Kern county offers some stunning backdrops.

With every shoot I did with my beautiful clients I felt as if I was a fraud. Here I was telling my clients how empowered they’d feel after their shoot and I had never done one myself. I was talking my truth, but I was not living my truth. So I decided to change that.

When Kelly said she wanted to start offering boudoir films as an option for our clients we started having the same discussion, “What model should we use?” And something deep inside me said, “I’ll be the model.”

And I was so happy that I volunteered.

At first, I was nervous. I’ve known Kelly since I was 13 years old, but as I got down into my bra and underwear I suddenly felt very exposed. But she made the experience so amazing for me. Within 10 minutes I stopped thinking about my body and started LOVING my body. The feedback from Kelly that I got about my modeling felt really good. I felt sexy, confident and empowered. No longer was I hearing society telling me about the things I should fix, instead, I only heard Kelly’s encouraging words. And then, something magical happened.

I started hearing my own encouraging words to myself.

We did three different types of boudoir and 3 different looks. Two in my bedroom and one on the top of Mt. Pinos. Getting down to my lingerie out in the wild was my jam! I felt so incredibly empowered, full of power and strength. I felt the strength in my body and the power in my curves. I could feel the natural world energize my entire being and whispering to me, “You’re beautiful. Your body is full of wisdom.”

I absolutely loved every minute of it after that. And it was through my own experience that I really felt the importance of boudoir. Beauty in boudoir happens when something transformative comes out of it for the model.

I am not saying that I’m 100% body positive all the time with myself, that’s not the case, but what I can say is that I have a new renewed and appreciative look at my body. I am kinder to myself, my flaws and more than ever have found the beauty in my strength. My body allows me to hike mountain tops, to travel the world. It allows me to have a physical relationship with the world and people around me. It gives me strength and wisdom. And for that I honor it.

I highly recommend that everyone participates in a boudoir in your life. Treat yourself. Who knows, maybe you’ll come out of the experience with a renewed sense of self.

view my Indoor boudoir below:

Boudoir Shoot – Ethereal from Donegee Media on Vimeo.

What to Ask Yourself Before Booking a Photographer

Are you recently engaged and super excited to get the whole wedding process on its way? Do you find yourself looking at Pinterest and dreaming and sighing and hoping that your day will look as beautiful as those photos? Do you want to do an engagement session, book a photographer and get the ball rolling? Wait. Take a minute. Breathe. Have you thought yet about what is important to you in a photographer?

There are so many talented creatives right now in the wedding industry. Because of this, you get to be really picky about what you want, who you want to work with, and what style is important to you. Isn’t that awesome? You no longer have to settle anymore for your Uncle Bob’s friend!

Here are some things we want you to think about and ask yourself before booking a photographer to make sure they are the perfect match for you.

1. What kind of Photography do I want?

This is the most important question you need to ask yourself before booking a photographer. Just because your parents are besties with a guy who has been doing it for years, doesn’t necessarily mean that guy is the right photographer for you. Wedding Photography is such a diverse field with so many talented and creative artists, it’s hard to know exactly what kind of style you want. Trends in the industry are happening monthly, but what I always tell perspective clients is to look at a variety of different photographers, get a sense of what style of photographer you want, a creative documentarian (like us) or high fashioned (something you may see in a magazine), do you want someone to control the day, or do you want to experience the day as it unfolds with little intrusion from the photographer?

If you’re more camera shy, you should stay away from high fashion photographers and traditional portraiture photographers and you might want to opt for creative documentarian, photojournalist and natural light photographers. They will be able to capture your day effortlessly without you being aware of their presence, for the most part.

2. What’s my budget?

Make sure you know what your budget for photography is. The rule of thumb is about 15% of your wedding budget should be set aside for photography. This is probably the biggest investment you need to set aside for your wedding day because it is the one thing that is going to stay with you once the day is over. These are the physical memories you will have to look back on your day 5, 10, 20 and more years from now, think about it, generations from now your family can look back on those photos and gush over how cute everyone was!

Be realistic about your budget. The chances of you finding all day coverage for $500 is unrealistic. At donegee our packages start at $2000 and up and we are still considered cheap in the industry. Make sure you set aside AT LEAST $2,000 for your wedding photography. This isn’t including videography. It may seem pricey, but remember, this is an investment for you and your family.

3. What kind of lighting do I like?

Here at Donegee we specialized in natural light, we prefer not to use artificial light in any means, but that doesn’t mean we won’t. If you’re trying to get images like the ones above, then natural light, and crafting a timeline that allows you to take advantage of the natural sun will be important to you. Make sure you can work with your photographer to craft a timeline of your day to achieve the images you want to see.

4. What kind of personality jives well with mine?

The photographer will be with you as much as your family will be for your wedding day, so it is important that your personalities vibe well together. If you have a photographer who has a big ego, and you’re having a really relaxed laid back wedding, then perhaps that photographer will not be the best for you. This is why it is important to meet your photographer, whether online or in person, before booking. You can see whether or not you connect and if you can trust that person to capture your day. If we don’t jive well with the couple, we do not book with them, even if they want it. It is important that the photographer and the bride and groom have a good relationship and get along–this will make your entire wedding day way more enjoyable.

5. What kind of deliverables are important to me?

Not all photographers deliver the same thing. For instance, some will not give out digital files and only give physical prints and visa versa. Knowing what you want in the final product will make choosing your photographer all that much easier. We offer digitals as part of our base package, and offer prints at an additional cost. This isn’t necessarily the same as other photographers. Make sure you know what you want as your final product before booking your photographer.

Hopefully these five things have got you thinking about what is important to you in a photographer and photography. If you have any questions, feel free to email us at donegeemedia@gmail.com. We will help walk you through your entire wedding process from engagement sessions to trash the dress sessions. Don’t be shy, we are here to help you!